CEO of Google Eric Schmidt announced today that chief scientists at Google Labs have stumbled upon Web 4.0, the next-gen version of the internet that puts our internet (Web 2.0) to shame.
"It's so much faster" Says Google employee Nate Sheckenhausen, "It's a whole new experience, with all new audio and visual stimuli that allow me to see the internet in a new dimension, my productivity rate has increased tenfold since I started using it. It will really be great to see the technological advances this will allow for Google." Adding, "God I love my job."
Unfortunately, Schmidt has said he won't release Web 4.0, "until it's ready." saying that the new web revolution still needs some tweaking and cleaning so that, "Google for Web 4.0 will be the best way to do anything ever, it may even replace food."
When asked how Google made this new discovery, Schmidt explained, "Well, one of our scientists just finished taking a dump on our Japanese gold-plated, electronic, auto-flushing, wipe-your-ass-for-you toilets when he decided to search our own database for "Web 4.0" and it turns out the collective digital genius of all our employees had actually created it a few months ago.
"I just typed it in and it was there" says Johnathan Coleham, the scientist who discovered it. "I think the toilet might have had something to do with it."
Whatever the reason, Google has invented a new platform that the rest of the world will probably end up utilizing and worshipping for years to come.
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